Now that it’s officially past my year anniversary of being out as bisexual, I figured that I might as well share the story of when I realized I might like men. I want to preface this story by emphasizing that this is all entirely true (except names are different). Do with that what you will lol
I met my best friend, Alex, when I was in Kindergarten. We quickly grew to become super close as young kids do. Our families hung out, we had sleepovers, played on the same sports teams, and talked about each others’ crushes and hot women’s tits. We grew apart in middle school for a little while, but never stopped being friends and got super close again in high school around Junior year.
Growing up, we were both super athletic. I played soccer for years, then he got me into lacrosse Junior year and we both became rock climbers senior year. Being around so many sports, we both wanted to get really fit and started lifting heavily. We were going to the gym 6 days a week together with the goal of getting ripped for summer. Everything was how it had always been until Alex started developing some abs and his arks started to fill out. Understandably, he was super excited. He started sending me progress photos and would flex every time he saw a mirror. Eventually, I was doing the same.
After every workout we’d shower, but it wasn’t communal and we couldn’t see each other as there were stalls. When we changed into fresh clothes we both always turned away, not necessarily out of embarrassment (we’d been naked together a bunch when we were younger and tbh had few boundaries), but more just because that’s what you do in a locker room.
As we both started to get more in shape, he asked if I would wanna take some photos together in the locker room after every workout to track our progress. That sounded awesome as we’d been friends forever and it would be cool to see us growing as a unit. One day when we finished legs (which, by the way, destroys me every time but it is soooo worth it), he asked if we could strip to just our underwear during our photo. I had no issue and thought nothing of it, especially because I’d seen him naked countless times when we were younger.
What I didn’t realize is that a lot had changed since we’d last been nude together. Even though I’d seen him shirtless and been posing with him for weeks before, something was different. I could see an outline of his dick which I noticed looked a lot like mine. Obviously it was bigger than I remembered, but i couldn’t see much and he wasn’t hard. Still, for whatever reason, I couldn’t stop myself from glancing every few seconds. That night, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I felt embarrassed, especially because he was my best friend, I knew I wasn’t gay, and I’d never cared about another man’s penis before. Maybe it was just because of the taboo or maybe I was just curious about what it looked like, especially because we were so often nude around each other but never in a way that we could see anything.
Over Memorial Day weekend (I think? I just remember it was a 3 day weekend), we went up with two of our close female friends to my cabin for a quick trip. We brought a 1.75L bottle of vodka and had every intention of finishing it while up there. As one can probably infer, we were solidly drunk throughout the weekend. I was being relatively suggestive the entire time trying to get another look. Being so close to him wasn’t hard, especially because we’d been so close for so long. Whenever he was chilling on the beanbag, I’d join him and we’d spoon (and he thought nothing of it). The entire weekend I was super clingy and feely. Definitely should’ve known I was gay by then but at the time I chocked it up to being drunk and “bros being bros”.
This next part was one of the most important parts of my realization of my sexuality. I still can’t believe it happened, either because I was so bold or because he was willing. Anyways, the last night we were staying there we got particularly drunk. Thinking back, I wish it hadn’t happened on a night I barely remember because I really wish I did. We were all playing rage cage and one of our friends got the *** cup, so I took that opportunity to pull Alex aside. I told him to come to the bathroom with me, which he did.
When we were there, I said I had to pee, and he turned around not to look.
“Why’d you turn around it’s not like you haven’t seen it before,” I said
“Good point,” He turned around.
Even though I could see he wasn’t looking at my dick, I started to get hard. I felt confused, especially because I’d never thought of him sexually, or really any man before. I don’t know what came over me, maybe it was the hormones or maybe the booze but I was feeling bold.
“I wonder who’s dick is bigger,” I joked
“Mine for sure,” he responded.
“Show me”
“Okay”
I’m not sure if I felt surprised or not. I know I was thrilled for sure. He pulled down his pants and there it was: his soft penis, about 3 inches long. It looked surprisingly a lot like mine: it was cut, similar size, and shape. I was already sporting a semi so mine looked bigger, to my advantage. I then suggested we compare hard.
He protested a little until I gave him a little beg: “pleeease don’t you wanna know?”
“Give me a second,” He turned around to try to get hard. After about thirty seconds, he told me he couldn’t get hard with me in the room. For whatever reason, that was really hot to me. I told him I couldn’t either (I was lying, my cock literally throbbing but he was turned around). We then decided to both watch some porn on our own phones to get us hard, then we’d turn around and compare.
This is the part that I wish I wasn’t drunk for. I remember the lead up much better than the actual compare. Here’s what I do remember. He told me he was ready, I said I was too. We counted down 3… 2… 1… and turned around. Again, they looked similar but his was slightly larger in both ways. Thicker and longer, around 6-7 inches long and thick about the size of my middle finger and thumb making a circle.
At least, that’s what I remember thinking to myself. Either I don’t remember because I was boozed up, because I was embarrassed to be turned on and looked away, or something else. What I do know is that he remembers all of it much better than I do. And yet, that hasn’t changed anything about our dynamic. We still worked out together until we moved out for college and would regularly strip to take progress photos. Sometimes we’d even take nudes while the other was around. To this day he still jokes about the fact that he was bigger, I just wish I remember it as well as him.
Since moving to college I’ve really gotten to explore my attraction to men more. I’ve realized I’m not really into men romantically, but I really enjoy the taboo of fucking around with guys I know I shouldn’t (friends, other straight people, guys at the gym, etc…). Anyways, Alex and I have never gone farther than looking, but I think someday that would be fun.