First, let me introduce myself;
My name is Zain, I’m 24 years old, and I come from Germany, specifically North Rhine-Westphalia. I’m 6 feet 2 inches tall, muscular, with a beautifully full black beard, deep black hair, and overall, I’d say I’m quite a catch for the gay community—at least for those looking for a truly dominant Daddy!
Let’s start with my youth, around the age of 12. I had a good childhood and adolescence. Lots of friends, lots of fun in life, school, etc. At some point, I discovered porn through a friend, and from then on, I started to pleasure myself occasionally… I still remember very well the first time I saw a shemale/trans porn and how disgusted I was. But after a while, maybe one or two years, I began to watch them too and enjoyed them immensely. However gayporn, was still disgusting to me afterwards… until I was about 16 or 17 (this was also the phase when I consumed a lot of porn) and started to develop my love for femboys ❤️. I’m a big anime fan, and it was only a matter of time before I got to know Astolfo and his crew, haha. Anyway, I would destroy my cock to femboys day in and day out. But even then, anything completely gay was still taboo and "disgusting" to me. So, my Pornhub was never allowed to switch to GayPornhub, haha. But what do you think happened?🫢. Today, I absolutely love gay porn and everything that is gay, though with certain limits—it must always include a submissive bottom with some feminine traits.
Along the way, I also developed other fetishes, like outdoor stuff and live video chats. I love being on Chatrandom, but in a way that shows my face and body because the thrill of being completely visible gives me such an incredibly arousing feeling uff 😩…
You must not forget, no one on the outside knows about this, and it’s quite the opposite, actually, because I was raised Islamic and follow the faith out of personal conviction. I pray every day, fast, and adhere to my beliefs as best as I can. Most of my friends are just like me—Islamic. We try not to get into trouble, don’t insult, don’t gossip, try to help people, and do all the good things we can.
So that’s roughly my background. Oh, and I’m currently a student 🤓 and work part-time at a school.
Now to the incident. About two months ago, I was on Chatrandom (a live gay video chat platform where everyone basically jerks off), doing my usual routine. While hunting for femboys, something incredible happened😱. Suddenly, I see on my screen one of my closest, best, and most lovely friends that I have omggg. When I say best friend, I mean one of five😶. I see this guy almost every day; we sometimes talk on the phone for hours and are just besties. Then I see his face, and my heart sinks deep into my pants, and I’m shocked. Zain Jr. immediately withdrew, and I had to get a grip on my life first… how am I supposed to look him in the eyes now? How am I supposed to talk to him? What does he think of me? I asked myself all sorts of questions.
That day was pretty much over, and I thought I had to avoid seeing him for as long as possible. I managed that for about four days, haha, but then the big day came. I saw him at some kind of theater event where we were supposed to help with carrying things. Seeing him for the first time and greeting him was like being in a job interview. I was nervous, my heart was pounding, and I was scared of what he would do since we were there with our group of friends. Then I looked him in the eyes, shook his hand, and hugged him, and I swear I felt that he felt exactly the same way I did! Exactly the same! And that somewhat reassured me. We just kept it a secret.
Time passed, and we saw each other more and more, and everything normalized. During this time, you must understand, I never had a perverse or erotic thought about him.
Recently, however, I have to say I feel very strongly attracted to him, and I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I think about him every time I get naughty 🫨. And to top it all off, he’s small, slender, and has a fat ass🙄. He always had that gayness in his speech idk how to describe it, but he got bullied every time cuz of it. And ofc In our friendship, I’ve always been the big, strong martial artist friend who protected him. No one could bother him without dealing with me. If i was there no one was even trying to laugh about the way he talks cuz i loved how he was/is! Even back then when i was not gay at all, i really respected him and wanted him to feel safe.
The thing is, he’s an extremely touchy friend, and so am I. So, touching each other is just normal for us. I realized I was actually into him when we were in a store together and sat down. I was tired and exhausted, so I stretched out my leg and wanted to rest my foot on his chair. But suddenly, he placed my foot, or rather my whole leg, on his thighs to let me relax😮💨. And I tell you, my heart was pounding, and it was such a beautiful feeling because I could tell he was overwhelmed, haha, actually quite cute 😊. I know him too well. Of course, I got a boner, but no one saw🫠.
So now, I really don’t know what to do. I try to find every opportunity to touch him, and he does too—I can just feel it. Yesterday at work, he didn’t let go of my hand when we greeted each other. We laughed and all, but I really don’t know if these are signs or if he’s just having fun😵💫.
And in combination with all this, last time, on a Sunday evening, I went to my old elementary school building because it’s quiet there, and I completely undressed—really completely naked except for my white socks. I then deliberately moved further away from my clothes so I couldn’t put them on quickly, and then I just started jerking off on the ping pong table where there was light. That was the craziest outdoor stuff I’ve done so far because anyone could just walk by and see me… I actually wanted to go live and show it, but I was too horny and came right away… I, of course, thought about doing it with my best friend there🤤. As I’m writing this, I realize how badly I want to breed his cute ass and just be with him🫣.
I really don’t know what to do or how to give him signals. Please help me with the topic of giving signals because I can’t talk to him directly, honestly. If I tell you it’s not possible, I mean it. It would just be too inappropriate. Please help me 😮💨.