All characters are 18+, and this is a work of fiction
Brief summary: After over a decade of friendship, Gabe and Benji moved in together, and they quickly realized there was more there to explore… And maybe it was there all along. Now the boys need to tell Benji’s family.
———
I was plagued with a series of fever-like dreams, ranging from sweet to horrific. It felt like I was waking up every ten minutes with no tangible idea of what I’d just been dreaming apart from a general feeling and vibe. And then I’d fall back asleep, and the cycle repeated. Fortunately, with Benji in my arms, I could tell he was sound asleep.
I realized how much all of this had been wearing away at him.
Have I been supportive enough? I wondered, sometime around 4 or 5. In the past couple months, Benji had been very caring and uplifting through my own internal struggles, but was I doing everything I could to help him? I hoped that after telling his family, he wouldn’t necessarily need help.
But I was prepared to do whatever it took to make the boy who looked like sunshine as happy as me made me.
I pulled him close, sniffing his hair. He stirred in my arms a bit, and then he settled, snoring again. I tried my best to calm my racing mind, instead focusing on what I could feel: Benji and his warmth.
I awoke again to daylight. From what I could tell, Benji was still asleep in my arms. Trying not to disturb him, I reached for my phone.
In one of the dreams I could remember, Benji and I were getting married. Our parents were there, smiling, celebrating with us. Celebrating us.
I realized I had to tell my family about us before I could tell Benji’s. It was only right. And if everything’s going down today, I thought, I might as well do it. I could certainly get my mom to avoid spilling the beans to the Wilkes family.
It made sense to stop by my parents’ house first. I was confident they’d be supportive, and maybe that would be just what Benji needed to bolster his confidence. My parents always wanted to have another kid, but they’d had some fertility issues, and so Benji was always like another son to them.
When I’d come home telling them I’d found a new best friend when we had first met, my mom baked cookies to take to school. She was beyond overjoyed when he’d come over, since it was my first sleepover at my house, and she got to be a mom to more than one kid.
When his parents had come to pick him up, I started to cry as soon as the door closed, and my mom told me, “You’ll be seeing lots of that boy, honey. I just know it.” And how right she was.
So no matter what, Benji would have my parents to lean on. And me.
I closed my eyes, wondering if I’d be able to catch a few more minutes of sleep before we got up. But scenes played out inside my eyelids of best- and worst-case scenarios. What if they kick me out? What if they make Benji move out of here?
I pondered what I’d do if the latter were the case. I was willing to nail every door and window closed to keep the world out, if it came to it. He deserved safety, security, and protection, and if no one else could give that to him, I could. But at my core, I truly hoped it wouldn’t have to be that way.
Suddenly he took a deep breath and started to stretch in my arms. That was when I realized I was fully hard. I heard him grunt softly before rolling onto his back. He opened his blue eyes and smiled.
“I can’t remember the last time I slept that well,” he croaked.
“Good, Benj. I’m glad you got some good rest.” I leaned and kissed his forehead.
“How ‘bout you? Did you sleep okay?” He reached over and started rubbing is fingers up and down my chest, twirling the dark hair that grew like wild grass between my pectorals.
“I slept fine,” I lied. I didn’t want to ruin anything for him on this day. “I’m just really glad you finally got some rest. I don’t think I conveyed last night just how worried about you I’ve been.”
“I know, babe. I’m so sorry to worry you.” His fingers started to glide down my body, through the hair on my stomach, and farther down, still.
“Mm, what’re you doing?” I grinned at him as he finally wrapped his fingers around my morning wood, which was now throbbing in anticipation.
“Making my man feel good.” He rolled over again, now on to of me, stroking me slowly while his lips found my neck. “You really pulled me out of a funk last night. And it’s your turn to be taken care of.”
Crawling back, his lips trailed kisses like Gretel’s breadcrumbs down to where his hands were already working, and his eyes that sparkled like summertime looked up at me before taking the head of my cock into his mouth.
“Ohh, Benji, baby,” I moaned. “You already took care of me last night.”
He raised an eyebrow in an accusatory manner as inch after inch of my dick slid down his throat.
“But I won’t stop ya, bro,” I breathed, my mouth agape as hot air from his nostrils tickled my pubic region. “Whoa!” He had grabbed my balls, catching me by surprise.
I had been propped up on my elbows watching my beautiful Benjamin, but I dropped down and lay my head back as his practically ungaggable throat devoured my entire length again and again. His heavy nose-breathing told me he was working hard, and the intense suction was just the kicker. His fingers wrapped around my shaft, tugging along with the bobbing of his head.
Eyes still closed, I reached down and ran my fingers in his hair again. I could feel the muscles in his jaw as he swallowed my whole length. Each time, it somehow felt like he was taking me deeper.
Then his finger slid down the middle line of my scrotum to my taint, and he quickly found my hole. Suddenly he came up for air, and I lifted my head, too, to look at him.
“Is my load still in here?” He asked, licking his lips.
I nodded. Then his finger slid in, causing me to shudder, and then his sweet lips wrapped around the head of my cock once more. I soon felt the smoothness of the back of his throat again as he resumed his masterful deepthroating.
“Fuck, dude,” I groaned as my head fell back.
Before long, he found my prostate and began to massage it gently. At that point, I was a goner, inching closer and closer to the finish line. I took a deep breath as I felt the orgasm creeping up. This time it started in my chest, spreading with each desperate inhale.
Before I could even warn him, with a flick of Benji’s tongue, I was finally exploding, and my hips were bucking, rocking side to side as he took me down his throat again. When he came up and swallowed, he smiled at me.
“How was that?”
“Are you kidding me?” I huffed, letting my head fall back again. “Let me catch my breath, and then it’s your turn.”
“What’s the plan for today?” He crawled next to me and lay his head on my chest, looking up. I couldn’t help but notice his hard-on.
“I was thinking, maybe, we should tell my parents about us first. You know they’ll be thrilled. And I thought that that might help.” Again, I really hoped I wasn’t overstepping.
“Fuck it, let’s do it.” He covered his face with his hands again. He didn’t sound upset; instead, it sounded like a resolution.
“Yeah? Okay.” I tickled his chest for a few minutes in silence.
“My parents get back from church and brunch around 1, usually.” There were some Sundays when Coral’s was open, when his parents came in for brunch, so I already knew their schedule.
“So we can go tell mine whenever, and then we’ll head over to yours.”
“What time is it?” I could hear panic in his voice, so I checked my phone again.
“It’s almost 10:30,” I told him.
“Do you want to get in the shower? I’ll make us some coffee.” He hoped to his feet. Then after taking just one step toward the kitchen, he turned back and added, “I meant we’d take a shower together, by the way.”
“I hoped so,” I chuckled, sitting up. “Let me go to the bathroom first. I’m pretty sure I probably leaked your jizz all over the bed last night, but I gotta take care of the rest.” It didn’t even feel strange or taboo anymore to be so open with him.
“For sure, dude. The coffee will take a few minutes, anyway.”
So I closed the bathroom door and sat on the toilet. As all traces of Benji left my body, I texted my parents that we would be coming over some time that day if they were home. My mom happily replied and said she’d bake something.
Once I was done, I opened the bathroom door and stepped into the shower. Benji soon came in and handed me a travel mug.
“I tried to let it cool a bit in the freezer, but I’m realizing that was probably dumb. But I swear I left the lids off,” he grinned. “But either way, I’d give it a minute before you take a sip.”
I was pleased to see him in such good spirits.
A little ass did him wonders, I joked to myself.
“So I told my parents we’re coming. Mom said she’d make muffins.”
“Ooh, I hope she does her cinnamon ones. Those are my favorite.” His eyes rolled back in his head.
“I’m sure she will, especially since she knows you’re coming.” I didn’t want to dance around what was going to happen, but I also didn’t want to force anything before Benji was ready. I’d just gotten him back to me.
“Do you think she’ll cry?” He asked, taking a brave sip of his coffee. I watched as his eyes got wide, and then he relaxed and took another sip.
“Probably. Maybe I will, too. Will you?” I looked right into his eyes as I asked.
“I don’t know, man.”
We sipped our coffee and washed ourselves and each other. It was obvious that neither one of us wanted to get out, but we had to pull back the curtain eventually and step into the rest of our lives together.
But first… As Benji stood facing the water, I walked behind him and reached around for his cock. He was semi-hard, which helped.
“Ooh, that’s nice” I heard him hiss.
In a few seconds, he was hard in my hand.
“One more distraction,” I whispered in his ear.
Then I started cranking his cock like it was a butter churn, fast and hard. His thick cock in my hand felt nice, and he leaned his dripping wet head back against me. We each had a coffee in one hand, but I focused on him, knowing I wouldn’t spill.
Even over the water, I could hear his whimpers, his gasps and moans. He had been rock hard after getting me off, so I knew he had gotten a bit worked up.
Water sprayed off my hand as it flew back and forth, jerking Benji’s girthy dick. He was starting to wiggle, so I maintained my speed, eager to make him nut.
“Fuck,” he whispered after a bit, “I’m almost there.”
So I peered over his shoulder to watch his volcanic cum explosion that sprayed onto the faucet. Benji was moaning as I milked him, and then there was quiet again, so we finished our coffees and got out.
—
We sat in my car, the air conditioning blasting, in our apartment parking lot. Benji’s dormant car sat next to mine, so I automatically checked my backseat for our extra jumper cables. We each had a set in case of emergencies.
“You ready?” I asked him, reaching across the center console and grabbing his hand.
“No, but I just have to do it. I can do anything with you next to me; that was clear from very early on.” He turned and forced a smile. My own heart was racing, so I could imagine how nervous Benji was.
We drove slowly to my parents’, the shade from the trees nice as we stepped back into the humid air. He was taking deep breaths through his nose, trying to stay calm.
“It’s okay, Benjamin,” I whispered at the front door. I grabbed his face and kissed him once, and then we walked in together.
My dad, again, was out in the backyard, but my mom greeted us with muffins and hugs. Benji immediately shoved a cinnamon muffin in his mouth—not dissimilar from the way he devoured my cock that very morning.
“Hey, Ben!” My dad’s voice came in through the sliding door before he did. He pulled Benji in for a bear hug, slapping his back and almost causing him to choke on his muffin. “Glad you’re here, son!”
He’d called Benji that since the day he met him, and I realized how happy he was, too, to have another kid. And if he’d been so supportive of my coming out, I was certain he’d accept Benji. They both would.
“So what brings you boys over?” Asked my mom. She tucked her hair behind her ear and sat down on the couch. My dad sat next to her, and I sat down in the nearby chair, knowing Benji would prefer to stand.
He stood next to me, eating another muffin.
“Well,” I began, as a fresh wave of panic washed over me. I hadn’t planned exactly what to say.
“Uh, actually, I wanted to talk to you guys,” Benji cut in. My eyes got wide, and I turned to look up at him.
“Is everything okay, honey?” My mom leaned forward.
“Yeah, I think so,” replied Benji. He put his hand on the top of the chair I sat in. “But I just wanted to start by saying thank you for being so great to me for all these years. All the sleepovers, the vacations, just… You’ve always treated me like family.”
“Well, of course,” said my dad. “You are family, Ben. You know that.”
“I know.” I heard Benji swallow. And in looking at the eyes of my parents, I saw they were both nervous. “And I know that you and Gabe had a pretty important conversation a few weeks ago.”
“We did.” My dad was leaning forward, now. He smiled softly at me before returning his returned gaze to Benji.
“Um, well… I just also have to say how great he is. Gabe is, without a doubt, the best person I’ve ever known.” He sat down on the arm rest, and I couldn’t help but wrap my arm around his waist.
I clocked my mom raising an eyebrow, but Benji continued.
“So, I guess I’ll just get to it. Gabe told you something very special and important, but that’s not the whole story.” He took another deep breath, and I took that as my chance to cut in.
“I told you guys I’d been doing some thinking lately, and that’s when I… came to the realization.” I looked back and forth between them, trying to pinpoint exactly what they were both thinking and feeling.
But Benji cut me off again.
“I’m gay, too,” he blurted. “Or maybe bisexual or something. I’m not totally sure, but I know that I…”
I looked up that his face, and his left hand was covering his eyes, wiping away tears already.
“Benji, sweetheart.” my mother’s comforting voice sounded like the hug I wanted to give him. And me. But I knew I had to say something.
However, explaining the slow-burn yet all-at-once way we’d fallen for each other was hard to articulate. I, therefore, kept it simple.
“I love him, you guys. Like, more than a best friend.” Both sets of eyes before me returned to me, like a tennis match. “So when I told you I’d been thinking about things, it’s because I realized I was in love with Benji.”
I felt a lump in my throat, emotionally charged with each word that left my lips.
“And I’m in love with your son, too,” Benji finally said. “And so we’re… together.”
My mom’s expression has stoic—warm but unmoving as she processed everything. My dad, however, started to softly chuckle, crossing his arms and shifting his glance between Benji and me. Suddenly he stood up.
“You know, Ben,” he said, taking off his baseball cap momentarily to fix the hair beneath, “I have a memory from a long time ago that has been nothing but a memory until just this moment. And maybe Maggie, here, will remember it, too. Back when you were first comin’ over a lot. One of the very first times.”
I didn’t know where he was going. I started to rub my hand up and down Benji’s back.
“One time when your mom came to pick you up, you gave me the biggest hug at the front door. I remember turning to Maggie and saying, ‘What a sweet young man.’ We discussed how much happier our Gabe was since he met you, how sad he was every time you had to go home. Then I made a joke that if one of you was a girl, you could get married someday and Gabe wouldn’t have to say goodbye anymore.”
That seemed silly, but it made me think about how Benji and I had always been each other’s person. An unbreakable support, an unconditional love. I watched as my dad stepped around the coffee table toward us.
With his arms wide open, he took another step toward Benji, who slipped out from my arm and fell into my dad’s. And in seconds, I could hear poor Benji sobbing. I knew I couldn’t provide this exact type of support, or console him like a parent, but I was so thankful to my family, to my dad in this moment, as I watched the love of my life fall apart in his arms. I knew from experience that the hug Benji was getting in that moment was a healing one.
I wiped a tear from my own eye, and I looked at my mom who was also crying—I knew it, I thought—with a hand on her heart.
“We love you, Ben,” my dad said gently. “You’ve always been family. Always.”
My mom stood up, and so did I, and the four of us embraced in the middle of the living room. I felt a major sense of relief, even though it had all gone just as I predicted, and as everyone sat back down, I smiled. Benji sat on my lap, and he even seemed happier.
“I just want to make sure we say this,” said my mom. “Benji, we love you. We’re proud of you. We accept you for who you are, no matter what.” She knew his family, so she knew what we were afraid of. She didn’t even have to ask if we’d told them yet.
“That means so much,” Benji replied in a whisper.
“Now, forgive me for asking,” my dad inserted, clearing his throat. “But you two lovebirds are still staying on top of your other responsibilities, right? I know when Maggie and first moved in together, let’s just say we didn’t leave the house much.”
“Jimmy!” My mom gently slapped his stomach. My face got hot, embarrassed to even talk about this with them.
“We’re good,” replied Benji, his body softly shaking with laughter. “I promise. Still going to work, bills are still getting paid. We’re good.”
“I had to be a dad for a minute.” He tipped his baseball cap at us with a wink and a smile.
Now we’d told his sister and my parents. We’d both come out to them, and it felt so good. The apprehension and creeping anxiety that came with thoughts of his parents were like pangs of hunger, overpowering and unpredictable as they quickly and painfully set in. I tried to focus on the good things, but I knew what else awaited us. I wished we could flash forward to that evening and just have it all over with.
“We’re telling my family today,” said Benji as he ate yet another muffin.
My mom put her hand back over her heart, taking a deep breath.
“How do you feel about that?” She asked him, like a therapist.
“I’m really scared, actually.” His voice got quiet again, and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. “My parents are great, but they’re a little different from you guys, you know?”
My mom let out a song sigh, closing her eyes.
“Benji, honey, listen to me. For as long as I’ve known you, I’ve known your family. That means I’ve known your mother for over ten years. If there’s one thing I know about her, it’s that she loves you so much. You may be surprised by her response.” My mom’s words came with some weight.
Did they ever seriously wonder about us? I thought. There were jokes from both families forever that we were the old married couple. Did they ever talk about it for real?
In my mind, there was the thought that maybe everyone else saw it before we did. But we wouldn’t know for sure until we talked to his family.
“Okay,” Benji whispered.
“I can’t say I’m awful close with your dad,” said mine, “but when we invited them over for drinks after moving you boys in to that apartment of yours, he went on and on about how proud he was of you, your degree, your mind. None of that should go away because of who you love.”
“But what if it does go away?” In my arms, Benji was breathing heavier.
“If your parents are the people we’ve known for so long, that won’t happen,” my mom said, a bit louder. “And if it does happen, you’re my son, forever, no matter what. Okay? I know it’s not the same, but you’ll always have at least one mom who loves you.”
“And a dad, Ben.” My dad stood up again, picking Benji up off of my lap and holding him like a child.
Another tear came to my eye as I realized how thankful I was to have these three people in my life.
Eventually, Benji dried his eyes, and we realized his parents might be home from church soon. After another few pep talks from both parents, we headed to the car and departed. His parents’ house was on the other side of town, but it wasn’t a long drive at all.
“I feel like I’m gonna puke,” Benji groaned once we were out of my family’s neighborhood.
“Don’t get muffin all over my car, dude,” I said in an attempt to joke.
“Is it bad I just wanna go back home? Like, I know I just need to get it over with. But the closer we get, the more scared I feel.”
I sighed, knowing there was no way I could alleviate his pain, his worries. I could certainly drive us home, but that might just send him right back into a spiral.
So I drove us across town, down side streets and over a bridge. The church rush was flooding the streets again, but his parents were home when we arrived. I parked behind his dad’s old Jeep, and we took a few moments to collect ourselves.
“I’m so fucking scared, Gabe,” he whispered, eyes forward.
“I know. I’m here. Remember, I’m telling them first, right? So if that doesn’t go well, we leave. Okay?”
Without even looking at me, he grabbed my hand, because he knew right where it would be. He squeezed it tight.
“I love you, Gabriel. No matter what happens, this life brought me you, so I’ll do what I can to make it a good one with you.”
The lump came back to my throat, and I nearly sobbed. But I swallowed it down as we walked up the driveway to his front door. My heart was pounding so hard, I started to feel nauseous.
“Let’s do this,” he said with a heavy sigh, grabbing the doorknob. “Hello?” He called into the house as we walked in and took off our shoes. The grey walls felt more oppressive than normal, and I struggled to get my left shoe untied.
Finally, his mom peeked her head around the corner.
“Hi, guys! Missed you at church again,” she gently chided.
“Well, we went to visit my folks for a bit this morning,” I replied, trying my best to take charge.
We walked into the living room, and Mrs. Wilkes made her way to the kitchen where she had made some lemonade. The kitchen was visible from the living room, so it felt like her eyes were on us.
“Where’s Dad?” Benji asked as he flopped down into the couch, just like he always did growing up.
I’m glad there’s at least some sense of comfort, I thought. I tried to appear as normal and natural as possible, but that probably made me look like an alien.
“Should be downstairs in a minute. He wanted to change out of his church clothes.” She walked in and placed a tray on the coffee table. I thanked her, and we all poured ourselves a glass.
Finally, Mr. Wilkes made his way down the stairs. He seemed happy enough, adjusting his glasses when we both stood up to greet him.
“What brings you boys over? We missed you at church!” He got himself some lemonade, too, and sat in his big, brown recliner.
Meanwhile, Benji sat in the middle of the couch between his mom and me.
“I wanted to talk to you guys about something kind of important,” I managed to blurt out before I could stop myself. His mom turned her head to look at me over her glasses, her wiry grey hair falling over an eye for a moment.
“What do you mean, Gabe? Is everything alright with you?” She sounded genuinely concerned, and I took a moment to remind myself that these two adults had treated me like one of their own from day one. It wasn’t fair to let fear cloud my judgment of them.
“Everything is fine, really. But since you’re important people to me, I think it’s important for you to know…” I wanted to run out, to grab Benji by the hand and sprint back out the front door, shoes be damned.
But I had to be brave. If not for me, then for Benji. I could feel a cloud of anxious tension around him, and it was up to me to try and lift it.
“I’m gay.” I finally said it. To Mr. and Mrs. Wilkes, who had seen me cry dozens of times, who had cooked me dinners on school nights and drove me home in the wee hours when I had a nightmare. They’d been a second set of parents to me.
There was no way this could be the breaking point.
Right?
The silence permeated the deepest layers of my being, waiting for someone to say something. Even if it was, ‘Get the fuck out.’ I just needed to know. Benji needed to know, too.
“Oh, that’s okay, Gabe, honey.” At last, his mom was the first to break the seemingly endless and soul-sucking silence.
What does that mean? I wanted to ask. But it was better than a rejection. Better than disgust.
“Well,” came his dad’s voice, “I appreciate you telling us. That’s not an easy thing to do; even I know that.”
The pseudo-acceptance was almost more painful than a rejection. I wished they’d just say what they truly felt. Or maybe they already did.
“Yeah, so, uh… thank you,” I sputtered. I probably sounded like an idiot. Was Benji feeling the same way? Did he want to leave as badly as I did?
We could find a new apartment in a new town, I started to fantasize, retreating to an escape in my mind.
Suddenly Gabe stood up. And like he went screaming down the blue slide, he took a deep breath and said, “I don’t know if I’m gay or whatever, but I need to tell you guys that I’m in love with Gabe. We’re not just best friends; we’re a couple, and I’ve never been happier with anyone.”
I heard his mom gasp, and I tried to peek at his dad’s face, but Benji was standing between us.
He continued, as though he were a balloon with a slow leak.
“I know you guys go to church a lot, and I… I know what they say about this ’lifestyle,’ so I’ve been so scared that you guys won’t accept me. But I can’t lie about who I am.” He was shaking. I swallowed hard as we were plunged into another bout of strong silence.
“Benjamin…” Mrs. Wilkes spoke first. Her voice sounded strained, like she was holding back tears. “You know we love you.”
Benji and I looked at each other, waiting for the ‘but.’
“I just don’t want this to change the way you see me,” Benji said, and I saw his eyes fill with tears again.
His dad finally spoke. “Of course it changes things. We’ll always love you, but you have to know this changes things a bit.”
Benji let out a sob. “We should go,” he choked out, wiping his eyes on his forearm.
“No, please, don’t go,” his mom said, standing up. “I don’t think your father meant that the way you’re taking it.”
“How am I supposed to take it?” Benji turned to look at his father who remained seated.
I stood up and walked next to Benji. I didn’t touch him, but I just wanted to hold him. While this wasn’t the worst-case scenario, it wasn’t great. It hurt me, not only to see Benji’s pain playing out, but to know that they saw me differently, too.
“Benjamin,” his father replied after a moment. “I want you to listen when I tell you this. I’ve grown up a certain way, and your mother and I worked hard to raise you that same way. But you’ll notice something, son. Not once since you’ve been 18 have we forced you to do anything. And why’s that? Because more than anything, we raised you to be a man who walks in strength.”
He stood up.
“Sometimes strength is following in the footsteps of people before you. But sometimes,” he said, placing a hand on Benji’s shoulder, “strength is taking your own path. I may not agree with that lifestyle, and I may see you differently now, but the love I feel for you is no different from the day you were born. You’re my son.”
He grabbed Benji and pulled him in for a hug. Again, it wasn’t an outright declaration of support, but there was a sense of hope that I felt from his words. Perhaps, someday, he would come to our wedding and celebrate us.
Benji was crying, clearly, as his dad rubbed his back. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I turned to see the tear-streaked face of Mrs. Wilkes, who hugged me, too.
“I’ll have a talk with Benji later,” she whispered in my ear, “but I want you to know that I love you very, very much, Gabe. I care too much about you to treat you any different than I always have.”
I pulled away to face her again, a tear falling down my cheek. “Thank you,” I said.
But Benji was having a hard time calming down, almost hyperventilating. His mom walked over and held him, too, until he was able to steady his breathing.
“I really think we should go now,” he said with another sob. “I need a little bit of time to process everything, and for you guys to. This was a lot to put on you guys all at once.” He sniffled. “But I can’t hide or lie anymore.”
He held out his hand, and I took it. It felt, almost, inappropriate to do in front of them. But it was also, as his dad said, strength.
We walked to the door to put our shoes on, and his parents followed.
“We love you. Both of you. We’ll pray about this. And for you,” his mom said as she hugged us both. His dad hung back, but his sincere eyes followed us as we said our goodbyes.
Once we were in the car, Benji was like a ghost. I had to start driving, though, or else I’d panic. We made it out of the neighborhood before Benji spoke.
“I guess that could’ve gone worse.” His voice was hoarse from crying. He almost sounded defeated, his tone flat.
“I think it’s important to remember how many times they said they love you,” I said, trying my best to focus on the positive.
“Yeah, they did, didn’t they?” He covered his eyes, leaning forward on his hands.
I pulled over in a parking lot of a pharmacy and grabbed his knee.
“Benj.”
“Yeah?”
“Look at me.”
And he finally did.
“I’m so proud of you, okay? And I love you.”
“I love you, too. I wish all this was easier.”
“Me, too,” I sighed. He reached down and grabbed my hand in his.
“Let’s go home. I need a nap.”
So we drove home, and I tried my hardest not to spiral, while monitoring Benji’s every breath and movement to see if he was okay. Once our apartment door was closed behind us, Benji grabbed me tighter than he ever had. I felt his shoulders start to heave, and I began to cry with him.
While the end outcome wasn’t the ideal one, we’d had a good moment with both sets of parents. Everything was out in the open now, and it wasn’t our job to make anyone feel anything. It wasn’t our responsibility to convince his parents to accept that our love was valid and strong and important.
He pulled back a bit, and then he kissed me, grabbing my face in both hands.
“You’re my best friend, Gabriel. I love you so fucking much. I’d do that a million more times just to be with you, okay?” He kissed me again.
“I love you, Benjamin. You’re my whole world.”